{"product_id":"even-if-im-not","title":"Even if I'm Not","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003eThe Greatest Loss. The Way Forward. A Mother's Story.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMy first words as a mother were, \"Don’t drop him.” It was as if I knew, even before I held my first child, that I wouldn’t be able to hold onto my children.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eWe were the family who lost half our children; over a ten-year period, four of our eight children died, as infants, from a rare mitochondrial disorder. After the babies died, I was sure that nothing terrible could happen to us ever again. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eNot to us.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eThen, Yossi, our oldest child and only son, drowned six weeks before his wedding day.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eAs a child, Yossi loved playing with words. Once, when he was getting ready for school, I said to him, \"There are bagels on the counter if you’re hungry.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eHe said, \"Even if I’m not.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\"What?”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\"The bagels are on the counter even if I’m not hungry.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eAfter Yossi died, I grappled with long-held beliefs: Hashem is close; everything that happens has a purpose; and our \u003cspan style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003eneshamos \u003c\/span\u003econtinue to exist after we leave This World. The comfort of these truths was there for me, if I was ready to accept it, but also—as I learned—\"even if I’m not”… \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eAt first, I couldn’t find my way forward. I felt like Hashem was saying, \u003cspan style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003eI’m asking you to do something impossible. Do it anyway. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003eEven If I’m Not \u003c\/span\u003eis the story of doing the impossible. \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003eBy Devorie Kreiman\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"product-specs\" style=\"margin-top:20px\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 style=\"margin-bottom:10px\"\u003eBook Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"border-collapse:collapse;width:100%;max-width:520px\"\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"text-align:left;padding:6px 12px;border-bottom:1px solid #eee;\"\u003ePublisher\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:6px 12px;border-bottom:1px solid #eee;\"\u003eIsrael Bookshop Publications\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Israel Bookshop Publications","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":55441670275240,"sku":"LA322","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0534\/9765\/9560\/files\/IBS-LA322.jpg?v=1776817373","url":"https:\/\/judaicasquare.com\/products\/even-if-im-not","provider":"Judaica Square","version":"1.0","type":"link"}